The Unique Tale of Alduin's Curse
by maximsk
Summary: Alduin has returned to Skyrim, but little does he expect to run up against an ancient princess wielding an ancient curse with the power to completely ruin his self-worth.
1. A Fateful Day

Four people all sitting in the rear of a wagon, with their hands tied. Prisoners. Three guys. Ralof the stormclock, Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak and some dude named Loki or something.

Ralof was a Stormcloack, so he had one of their awesome blue uniforms on. Ulfric was in fancy clothes and had a gag tied around his mouth. He looked on with sorrow in his deep blue eyes. He looked wise. Loki was wearing rags because he sucked.

One girl was also in the posterior of the wagon. She was even more fair-skinned and delicate than the most beautiful Nord, her skin was icy pale. Her striking black and red locks of hair went down to her waist, and she wore a black lace corset with a black studded leather skirt, and a duster trenchcoat made of black leather, with red trimmed sleeves, and she wore black high heels with red daedric letters on them. She was sitting fast asleep in the wagon. She was the Dragonborn, but no one distinguished that yet so she was just a beautiful girl as far as they knew.

Her eyes opened. She had one purple eye and one green-blue eye, to embody the conflicting desires in her ambiance.

"Hey, you," said Ralof. "You're finally—"

"SHUT UP STUPID STORMCLOAK!" the girl screamed, flailing her head and shoulders around violently, then kicked Ralof in the face so he fell out of the wagon.

"Wow," said Ulfric Stormcloak, "you really are a strong assertive—"

"Shh, you're still gagged." The girl pressed her finger on Ulfric's face.

Ulfric remembered that he had a gag around his mouth, and nodded without saying anything.

"Damn you Stormcloaks," said Loki as he stalked Ralof running after the wagon. "Skyrim was fine until you came along. I could've stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell."

The girl looked off into the remoteness mournfully. She had a mournful sad look on her face. Her eyes mourned her positure.

Ralof was in the wagon again.

"Face your death with some courage, thief," he proclaimed in a ceremonial pitch.

"Shor! Mara! Dibella! Kynareth! Akatoish! Please help me!" Loki sniveled.

"Are you seirous right now," the girl snapped. "Do you have no ignominy? You are a horse thief. Horses are affluent. You probably pilfer sweet rolls from babies too."

"Shut up back there," retorted the carriage driver.

The girl slooooowly turned to look at the back of the carriage driver's head. Her purple and green eyes looked like they were shooting invisible lasers with her mighty vengeful glare.

"What in OBLIVION did you just say? How DARE you talk down to me, you slimy little milk-drinking skeever-licking Imperial moron? I'll have you know I'm a princess and an only child, and I was separated from my twin when I was five years old, and I've been wrongfully impounded by your pathetic cart full of Stormclock clowns—"

Ralof raised a hand. "Hey, we're not—"

"Shut your MOUTH, nobody is talking to you. I've been wrongfully confiscated by your stupid wagon cart, and I'm supposed to be someplace completely different right now, except YOU think it's a good idea to tell an ANCIENT PRINCESS to shut up. Maybe if you took two minutes to grow a brain like a normal person, you'd notice that I DON'T EVEN BELONG HERE, look at me, do I look like a Sormcloak to you, I'm wearing the finest silk leather dresses from my ancient heritage, I don't even know what the Strumcloucks are, anyone with half an inch of a brain could tell that, but nooooooo, you have to tell me to shut up, don't you. So I will. I'll shut up. I'll shut up and wait for you idiots to kill me for no reason. Thanks a lot."

The girl folded her arms and waited. But at this point they were already in Helgan so it didn't matter.

General Tullius was standing outside with some of those stupid elves in the uniforms. An Imperial scribe with a funny voice called out for them to step out of the cart one at a time. The scribe's name was Hadvar, but there wasn't really any way to know that. There was a lady in heavy armor established next to him, as well, and no one knew her name either.

"Don't do anything stupid," the girl said to Loki.

"You're not gonna kill me!" Loki started prancing off down the road, but the archers hit him and his body went flying into a window because of the physics.

Ralof and Jaurl Ulfric erected around with their hands tied. They looked pretty lackluster.

The scribe had a book open. Writing in it, he stopped and then spoke, "Wait. You there. Step forward."

The girl planted her hands on the seat and did a cartwheel out of the wagon even though her hands were tied, to demonstrate that she was not to be philandered with. She glared legendary Daedric daggers at the scribe.

The scribe inquired, "Who… Are you?"

The girl visaged back at him. "My name is High Princess Seralphaeyna, first of my name, and you are?"

Staring at her for a second, the scribe then looked at the officer lady in the heavy armor next to him. "Captain, what do we do? She's not on the list."

The officer lady glared at Seralphaeyna, with an evil twitching smirk on her face, snarling and grinning and showing her beastly fangs as she said, "_Forget_ the list. She goes to the _block_."

"By your orders, captain," alleged the scribe, with a heavy downtrodden look of sorrow as he regarded at the unintentional girl before him.

The two of them exchanged a look between them. They looked upon one another in them. The scribe spindle, "To the block, prisoner—I mean… Princess. Nice and easy."

Seralphaeyna hankered and glared at the evil torturer captain, before roving off to join the Stormcloak prisoners near the block.

A priestess of Mara was standing there with her arms up like she was holding up an invisible sword horizontal for the gods to pick up. She aforesaid, "As we commend your souls to Aetherius, blessings of the Eight Divines upon you—"

"EXCUSE ME," Seralphaeyna said, "there are NINE Divines, not eight, don't they teach you to count in your temples?"

There was a weird noise in the air, like the wind but sort of scarier. No one knew what it was, so they just kept going.

One of the Stormclouck soliders jumped forward and threw himself down on the execution block, pounding his fists on the ground all excited. "BEHEAD ME!" he screamed.

"OK," the captain said, and then pushed the headsman at the soldier.

The soldier yelled, "COME ON COME ON CHOP MY HEAD OFF I HAVEN'T GOT ALL MORNING YOU GOTTA CHOP MY"

And then the headsman chopped his head off.

"THANK YOU!" the soldier said, and then he died.

The captain turned her gaze up from the body to look straight at Seralphaeyna. She kicked the body out of the way without even beholding. Her mouth slowly twisted into a sadistic grin as she imagined what horrible matters she could do to this girl. "Next," she hissed, "the precious princess."

"I'm an _ancient_ princess, thank you very much," Seralphaeyna reimbursed, but she still walked up to the block.

The noise happened again. It was louder this time. Seralphaeyna ignored it because she was raging silently against the captain and everyone else who'd persecuted her today. She strained her hands helplessly against her bonds, but it was no use. She knelt down in front of the block, and wondered how she'd gotten here.

_(flashback begin)_

_Seralphaeyna was sitting at the kitchen table across from her father. They were looking at each other silently._

"_This is boring," her father said._

"_Yep," Seralphaeyna said._

_(flashback end)_

Seralphaeyna knelt in front of the stone chopping block. The captain's bedraggled, extraneous boot pressed on her back and forced her down onto her front. She looked up at the headsman askance.

"Don't mess up my hair, please," she requested.

The headsman shrugged and started to raise his axe, but then, a dragon appeared! A huge black dragon, out of nowhere! It landed on top of the tower behind the headsman and everyone fell over so Seralphaeyna didn't get her head chopped off today.

There was a thunder blast and the sky turned red and fireballs started precipitating down. It was pretty crazy. But Seralphaeyna picked herself up, and her hands were free, because of her hidden ancient magic that helped her in times of danger. She smirked and looked up at the big black dragon. She knew just how to deal with big bad deviances like this one.

The dragon started to flap its big black wings and go up into the air. But it was too late, because Seralphaeyna had prepared her curse. It was… The human curse. She insinuated the secret magic words to herself, raised her hands, and there was a big flash of magic power.

The dragon vanished for a second, and then a human lady in a black dress appeared where it'd been, up in the sky.

"AAAUUUUGHHHH!" the lady screeched as she dropped down from fifty feet in the air, but she was okay when she landed. She just went "oof" and vexed to get back up.

The lady was a big Nord lady. As in she was really big. As in she had some serious curves going on. She had a whole dress thing on her body and Seralphaeyna could tell she had some junk in that trunk. She had pale skin like Seralphaeyna did, and black hair, in big glossy waves with a lot of volume, and designer cherry scarlet red lipstick, but she was also still big. She got up, and looked at herself, and screeched again. "AAAUUUUGHHH—"

By this point everybody was laughing. Ulfric Stormclauck wasn't wearing his gag anymore and he was laughing. General Tullius was laughing too, he was the Imperial Legion leader, he was old and not really pretty but at least he sounded like a real officer. Even the despicable atrocious evil captain was laughing a little. The solider on the ground wasn't laughing because he was dead, but he was probably laughing up in Sovenguard. A dragon had attacked, and now it had gotten transformed into a human girl with big chunky curves.

"NO! YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT ME!" the girl screamed. "I'M ALDUIN! I'M THE WORLD-EATER!"

"Well, you've sure been eating _something_, with that body," the evil captain entitled back.

In reply, Alduin the girl went over and ate the captain. No one even cared because the captain was a total sadist freak anyway.

"I think you just need to calm down," spoke Seralphaeyna.

Alduin the girl looked at her with evil red human eyes. "You. You did this to me! Turn me back right now!"

Seralphaeyna raised her hands elegiacally and bespoke, "No, I'm serious, I'll calm you down! Here, I'll sing you a song!"

Because of her magical ancient princess powers, and also because she was beautiful and a good singer and she was good at this, Seralphaeyna had the magical wherewithal to calm people with her singing. She took a deep breath and began a ravishing melody.

_This time, this place  
>Misused, mistakes<br>Too long, too late  
>Who was I to make you wait<br>Just one chance  
>Just one breath<br>Just in case there's—_

The Imperial soldiers surrounded Seralphaeyna and drew their swords. One of them said, "You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people. What say you in your defense?"

Seralphaeyna stopped and looked at them enquiringly. "Wait, what crime did I commit?"

"Copyright infringement," the soldier replied.

"THAT WAS THE WORST SONG EVER!" Alduin shrieked, and pointed a finger right at Seralphaeyna. "I'LL HAVE REVENGE ON YOU!"

And then she ran out of Helgan, right through the gates. Everyone watched her go. She was really bouncy.

When they looked back, Seralphaeyna was gone too. Also now Ulfric and Ralof were in their underwear.

Ralof and Hadvar looked at each other. Hadvar said, "So, are you doing anything later?"

Tullius corrugated his arms and scowled. "All right. I'll let you go, this time. But don't be a rebel anymore, or the Empire will encroach you again."

Ulfric shrugged and smiled alkwardly. "Just another day in the life of a true Nord!"

But little did any of them know that the danger had just begun. Dun dun duuuun!

**So that's my first chapter! Feedback is always appreciated!**

**Special thanks to Reenava for the idea of what to turn Alduin into.**


	2. Another Fateful Day

So after Seralphaeyna escaped from Helgan, she went along the conduit to Riverwood, because she had to disperse the news that Alduin was back and girlier than ever, ziiiing, anyway she went to Riverwood and the first thing she did was go to the trader because if she carried any more stuff she wouldn't be able to run.

Seralphaeyna kicked open the Riverwood Trader door, the sunlight scintillating in and framing her silhouette like negative space art or something, it was symbolic and stuff. She walked in, and fixed her alluring blue eyes on the trader guy, and said, "What have you got for sale?"

The trader guy started to say some stuff, but then Seralphaeyna dumped 61 wolf pelts on the countertop. It got her 732 gold because she had really good speechcraft with the opposite sex. She used the gold to buy an elven sword of scorching, with a custom pommel grip and a sheath, because she lost her weapons when she got occupied by those Imperial jerkfaces earlier. She also bought a new black satin lace armor corset top, with tight black leather satin lace armor gloves that went up past her elbows without cutting off circulation, and a pair of high-heeled black leather armor boots, she was suited up for battle, she was ready now.

"The Golden Claw was stolen by thieves," bespoke the trader guy.

"I will go get the Golden Claw," respoke Serlphaeyna.

So she went up the mountain outside to Bleack Falls Barrow, and fought her way past the bandits and into the dungeon, there were spiders and draugr, they died. Then she got to the word wall at the end, and she attained the magic word but it didn't matter because her secret ancient magic was so much more awesome. Then she went to Whiterun, and went into the city to Dragonreach.

"I have the Dragonstone," said Seralphaeyna.

"Good," said Jarl Balgruff. He was the Jarl of Whiterun. He was really sympathetic because he had a permanent spine injury and he had to sit weird on his chair all the time now.

Farengar SecretFire came running up, and said, "The dragon is attacking!"

"Don't worry, bro, I got this," said Seralphaeyna, punching Farengar lightly on the shoulder and grinning. She gave him the Dragonstone and then traversed out the doors to fight the dragon.

She went out with Farengar, and Irileth who was a Dunmer and kind of a jerk but Seralphaeyna liked her anyway, and a bunch of Whiterun guards so they could give the dragon something to eat. It was aerial in circles around the Western Watchtower, which was really far away and Seralphaeyna had to run for like 45 seconds straight, it was crazy.

The tower was on fire, and people were dead and stuff, but the dragon was still flying around, and Irileth took out her sword and said "I will slay the dragon!"

But then Seralphaeyna held up her hand and stated, "Wait! I have a plan."

The dragon circled around again and congested in the air in front of Seralphaeyna. It wanted to set her on fire with its dragon magic, but then she called out to it.

She called out, "Hey! Dragon! You'd better stop setting stuff on fire, or else I'll use my magic on you!"

"Hah, puny human," said the dragon, as he landed on the ground and made everything discompose. What he didn't know was that while he was talking to Seralphaeyna, he wasn't setting stuff on fire, so her plan was already working. "You are no match for the might of the dovah! You are the weak one!"

"Weeeeell, yeah, but I bet you can't do THIS!" And then Seralphaeyna meditated on the power of the ancient Mythical Ruby Omega technique that she had learned at the young age of six during her princess training, and her eyes shone with pure red energy, and the dragon slumped over and died!

The dragon turned into a dragon skeleton, and Seralphaeyna unlocked the power of the Voice, which was awesome, she tried out her new shout, it made some dirt kick up and everything. She unlocked the power because she absorbed the dragon's soul, because she was Dragonborn. Now everyone knew she was Dragonborn!

The guards all cheered. Farengar was soooo all over those dragon bones. Everyone was happy! Except for Irileth, because she was grumpy, but everyone else was happy.

After he was done stuffing his inventory with dragon bones, Farenger came up to Seralphaeyna and asked, "How did you know to use that magic on the dragon?"

"It's simple," Seralphaeyna smirked. "I can't tell you about the details because my background is a secret mystery and I have to keep it that way to sound interesting. But basically, when you're fighting a dragon, all you have to do is—"

Suddenly, a big black fist smashed into Seralphaeyna's face. She instantly fell down on the ground, revealing… Alduin!

"HAHAHA! _PLOT TWIST!_" Alduin screamed and shook her fists over her head. She was wearing black spiky armor that looked like her dragon scales back when she was a dragon. But it was pretty obvious even with the armor on that she still had those curves going on.

Seralphaeyna was on her back now. She closed her eyes and focused her power. She knew that this fight would be the one to decide everyone's fate once and for all. She knew that everyone was counting on her. And she knew she had the power to be the hero Skyrim needed her to be.

Also she was an ancient princess and people seriously needed to start respecting that. What no one seemed to understand was that she was the most beautiful person in Skyrim. She had a perfect face with beautiful adorable face parts, with almost freakishly huge green eyes, she had pink blush makeup on, her hair was done up with wavy glossy curls. She was wearing all the stuff from Riverwood, and she also had a new custom silver dagger, it had a blade that was 7 to 7.5 inches long, it was made of ebony steel. It had the Daedric letters for 'MCR' on it because that was her favorite band forever. The handle was wrapped with exotic red sharkskin, and the pommel handle had a quartz sunstone for the magic. She also had a black linen cloak on now. She looked so tough in it.

Slowly, she got back up onto her feet, her eyes blazing with magical power. It was time for some good old-fashioned dragon-slaying.

Alduin walked up to Seralphaeyna and punched her so hard that she exploded.

Irileth screamed, "OH MY GODS YOU JUST KILLED THE D—"

Alduin turned around and screamed back, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! NO ONE CARES, I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER NOW." Alduin was so mad, she was aggressively jiggling at Irileth, it was scary.

Irileth shut up.

"Wait a minute. Darn it. This isn't right." Alduin looked down at herself. "This isn't right at all."

Farengar SecretFlame came up by her. "What's wrong, lady?"

"Oh, uh, I thought killing that princess girl would turn me back into a dragon, but apparently I'm just stuck this way."

"Wait, you're actually a dragon?" Farangar stopped for a second, and then grinned. "Is it all right if I take some samples of your body? Purely for research."

"Ew, get this guy out of here, he's a creep." Alduin shoved Farengar over on his back, and the guards came and arrested him for harassment, they dragged him all the way back to Whiterun. Irileth left too because she wasn't very imaginative and couldn't think of anything else to do.

Alduin stood out there in the open plains, in front of the big dragon's skeleton. Or what was left of it after Farngar messed with it.

"I promise," Alduin solemnly said, "I will avenge you, my brother."

She stopped.

"Actually I just avenged you like thirty seconds ago. Whatever. You just wait here and keep being dead like that. I'm gonna go end the world super quick."

And with that, Alduin went off to begin her evil work.

**So yeah, I hope you guys liked chapter two, I'm sorry I took so long to put this up, remember to review, I always appreciate everyone's feedback!  
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	3. The World-Eater's Eatery

**Thank you all so much for the feedback! It really helps me with being able to make the story good for you guys. Without further ado, here is the third chapter of The Unique Tale of Alduin's Curse!**

After she made the stupid Dragonborn explode at the Western Watchtower, Alduin got one of the dragons to give her a ride to her deluxe bedroom in Skuldafn. She had a bedroom with authentic ancient Nordic antique ebony furniture, and black and red stone flooring and wall panels, and a vaulted ceiling with Nordic symbols on it, plus a little smiley face on the ceiling right over her bed because it was fun to wake up to that. The bed was a Nordic double bed with scarlet satin lace sheets, Alduin ran in and jumped into it and bounced on the mattress and flipped onto her back because she was the World-Eater and she had some slick moves.

Coming suddenly into the room, Odahviing said, "Alduin, what are you going to do next?"

Odahviing was a human too because of the ancient magic, also otherwise he wouldn't be able to fit in the room, so he had human form now but he could switch back and forth with his dragon form unlike Alduin. As a human, Odahviing was still a guy, he stood at a height of 6" 3', and had chiseled pactoral muscles, he had red and black spiky hair, and he had pale skin like the moon and he wore a tight black t-shirt with black jeans and boots, but not like the stupid hipster boots, he had cool black boots, he also had a spiked black collar on and also studded wristbands. His face had black war paint makeup for his eyes, with teardrop shapes to signify his inner turmoil.

Alduin was wearing her pajama outfit, which was a black satin leather corset with flowing don sleeves and a gown front, the fabric was transcendent like gauze, so her skin was sort of visible through it, she looked like such a queen. Smiling evilly at Odahviing, she laughed mirthfully.

"I have some very specific secret plans that I will start doing later. Right now I'm hungry, I haven't eaten anything in an entire hour, I can't end the world if I'm starving to death."

"What would you like to eat, mas—mistress?"

"I require sweet rolls. Bring me twenty dozen sweet rolls immediately, and I will see to it that you are spared my evil wrath." Alduin smirked sadistically as Odahviing scurried off to furnish to her whims.

Alduin ended up eating about five times more sweet rolls than that. They were the best sweet rolls ever. Then she went into a food coma for like a whole day.

Waking up afterwards, she went to the bathroom to wash off, and looked up at her face in the mirror. Looking into her own ultra-violet eyes, she smiled. She had beautiful, curvilinear features, like an evil mastermind was supposed to, her skin was so pale it was like sweet roll icing, argh, she had sweet rolls on the brain now. Anyway, she had long curls of glossy black hair, between 800 and 900 curls, and her lips had crimson lipstick, she had eyeliner, it wasn't crazy paint like Odahviing, it was tasteful and elegant eyeliner. She washed it all off in her Nordic water basin so that she could reapply it to look more evil and beautiful.

Odahviing came in again and said, "My lady Al—"

"OH MY GODS HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING." Alduin didn't even worship any gods, she was that mad. Shoving Odahviing out of her bathroom, she then slammed the door. But then, realizing she didn't need to do any more stuff in here, she came back outside. "What do you want?"

Odahviing was on his back. He had a nosebleed from when he got shoved because of Alduin's might. "I wanted to ask when we're going to start ending the world," he utteranced.

"Oh, uhhhhh, I'm gonna do it later." Alduin nodded.

"You want to eat more sweet rolls instead of ending the world, don't you?"

"Weeeeeell, nobody asked you!" Alruin rejoined, before grabbing Odahviing and throwing him out the window. Odahviing turned into a dragon again in the middle of the air so he didn't splat on the ground or anything, but then he just flew off.

Immediately, Alduin realized she had done the wrong thing by throwing away her right-hand dragon. She felt very guilty, which was totally a human emotion but she was technically human now so whatever. She stuck her head out the window and said, "Wait come back I didn't mean it!"

Odahviing was back in her room. "You hurt my feelings," he said, looking down at the ground, tears dripping hotly from his visage as he cried from the hurt and betrayal.

"No, it's OK, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," Alduin said. Walking up to Odahviing, she placed her left and right arms around his build, hugging him against her curvy form.

Blushing, Odahviing looked up at the beautiful curvy woman, blushing hotly as he smiled. "Th-thank you, Alduin," he whispered, tears welling up in his glistening red eyes as he blushed.

Looking back into Odahviing's eyes, Alduin hugged her one and only dragon close to her body. Smiling, she reached up to gently wipe the tears from his perfect, pale face. Leaning her head on his shoulder, she enjoyed the moment of intimacy between the two dovahkiins (dragon language for "dragons").

"I always wanted to do this with you, Odie~" Alduin purred.

Odahviing pushed away from the hug suddenly, turning away, tears forming in his crimson shining eyes. "I'm sorry. My heart belongs to another."

Reaching out for him with one hand, Alduin felt her stomach tie up in a knot even though it was still full of sweet rolls. It felt uncomfortable to her. "But who?"

"I cannot say," uttered Odahviing.

Coming up behind him, Alduin wrapped her arms around Odahviing's beautifully slender and lithe form, hugging his form as she smirked dominantly. "Then it doesn't count~"

Odahviing froze, his pearlescent ruby orbs widening in shock as he blushed in shock at Alduin's mischievous advance, standing still as Alduin clung to him like a large curvy barnacle or limpet with arms around him. "H-hey!" Odahviing protested in embarrassment.

"You know you want it," Alduin smirked as she leered over Odahviing's shoulder at him, pressing her curvaceous chunky body (seriously, dat bod) against him like a beautiful vise, licking her full lips cutely.

Thinking quickly, Odahviing shut his black-adorned eyes tight. "What if I go get you ten times as many sweet rolls as before?"

". . . . . You win this time, Odie."

Scurrying out of Alduin's bedroom, Odahviing flew off to find a bakery again.

Alduin got bored while she was waiting, so she went back to making evil plans for ending the world. She wanted to go around to the dragon burial mounds and bring all the dragons back from the dead, but now she was human and she couldn't do shouts, so she had to be creative. She got out her whiteboard and started drawing a diagram.

Mirmulnir came in and sat on her bed and watched her draw the diagram. Mirmulnir was a human too now. "What'cha drawing, hotstuff?" he asked, smirking at Alduin.

"I was cursed with the magic of the ancient princess Seralphaeyna the Dragonborn, which made me a unique character with new quantities, but now I'm going to use it in part of my plans," said Alduin.

"But aren't you worried that you're playing into the Dragonborn's plans by doing stuff as a human after she turned you into a human using her ancient mythical curse power?"

Looking up at at Mirmulnir, Alduin frowned. "Wait. Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Oh, right, my bad." Mirmulnir poofed away.

Alduin shook her head and smiled. Kids these days. So silly.

She went over to her wardrobe and opened up her full-height mirror, looking at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a flowing jet black lustrous silk dress with a deep V-neck that showed off her dragonly assets, with deep crimson trim, and high heels with stiletto heels.

Just then, Odahviing came back into the room, interrupting the deliciously long description of Alduin's appearance. "I have the sweet rolls."

"Excellent," Alduin smirked evilly, licking her lips as she prepared for the banquet. "Bring them to me proximately."

There were forty dozen sweet rolls. Alduin ate all of them so fast that she got an ice cream headache from the icing. She laid down on her bed and groaned and smushed her pillow on top of her face. She was so full, she thought she was going to explode and give birth to a litter of sweet roll pups.

Odahviing quietly snuck out of the room while Alduin was stuck in bed doing that. Little did the World-Eater know that this was Odahviing's plan all along. He flew away in his dragon form to go do his own plans.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the magical plane of Aetherium, an ancient princess laid the details for plans of her own…

**And that's chapter three! Stay tuned for chapter four, where some other stuff will happen! ****Remember to review so I can feel validated by your feedback.**


	4. Dreams in the Moonlight

Ulfric Stormclock woke up in bed covered in sweat. He groaned and laid his arms over his eyes. He hadn't had a good night of sleep ever since Helgen. He was back here in his luxury suite in the Palace of the King, and he should have been slumbering because it was nighttime, but instead he was laying wide awake.

It was because of that picturesque girl in the black satin lace leather armor dress. Seralphaeyna, was her name. Ulfric hated to admit it, but deep inside, he already knew the veracity: He was in love.

Rolling onto his side, he gathered the covers around himself and tried to get back to sleep.

"_My my," Seralphaeyna whispered sveltely into his ear. "What handsome architecture you have."_

_Ulferic smirked as he held Seralphaeyna's core in his arms. "It's all for you, my love," he panted huskily as he flexed his chiseled muscular carapace._

"_You have such a sturdy Nordic burial column," Seralphaeyna murmured, gleefully rubbing her hands on Ulfric's perfect face._

"_I believe the proper term is 'standing stone'," Ulfric purred, licking his lips charmingly. "In fact, I think this is the _Steed_ Stone."_

_Seralphaeyna reached away from Ulfric's tender body, and laid her hand on the engraving of the steed symbol. "So, this will increase my carrying capacity by 100?"_

"_Yes. It'll also make your armor weightless, so you can take way more loot from dungeons and stuff." Ulfric nodded slowly, a smirk gracing his lips as he immersed into Seralphaeyna's icy gray eyes._

"_Oh, Ulfric," Seralphaeyna breathed passionately. "You always know just what to say."_

Just then, the door burst open! Ulfric woke up and spun out of bed. It was his assistant, Galmar Stone-Fist.

"How dare you disturb me while I'm resting!" Ulfric spat from where he was laying on the floor tangled in the covers. "What is the meaning of your shenanigans?"

"I'm very sorry, my Jarl," Galmar growled, except not angrily, he just had a voice box made of sandpaper and pebbles. It was because he smoked too much nirmroot leaf when he was younger. "It's just that we found the girl you were looking for."

"_WHAT!?_" Ulfric hurdled up onto his feet so fast that he put his outfit on at the same time. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a bit of his reflection in the bedroom doorknob. He was wearing a sleek black robe with thick luscious dark gray fur trim, with whitish leather plate armor beneath, with leather bracer gauntlets with Nordic engravings on them, and matching boots and armor to go with them. The armor on his chest had leather straps in an X shape going off a metal ring in the center, which accented his pectoral or deltoid muscles (A/N: oh my god muscles are so hard to write!), with a leather belt with a metal buckle around his waist. His hair was slicked back all awesomely, and he had a manly well-trimmed beard to incentivate his honorable personality.

"Yes. She is here now," throatscratched Ulfric's butler.

"Oh, no! By the Nine! Shoot! Now I have to change into my nice outfit!" Ulfric used his Voice powers to slam the door shut, then precipitously pulled all that armor stuff to put on something way more awesome.

Fifteen minutes later, he pulled open the door again. That guy was still standing there in the hallway.

"My Jarl, what can I—"

"Nonono, go get her," Ulfric cut off his impolite rambling. "Go get Seralphaeyna. Bring her up here immediately. That's an order."

"OK," he said, then ran off. He came back a minute later, and following him was the most beautiful girl Ulfric had ever laid his orbs on. She was five feet and six inches tall, with very healthy bone structure and muscle tone. Her skin was as pale as the moon on a cloudless night, and her face was perfectly delicate and angelic, with black eyeliner around her enthralling green irises. She was wearing a black red satin mesh dress with slashes in the sides of the waist revealing a blood red tube corset beneath. Her dress sleeves had long red line wedges, and they were really loose so the sleeves trailed behind her arms as she walked, her hips swaying gently with her feminine beauty. And she had black leather gloves on that disappeared into her sleeves, and matching shoes with pointed toes and heels that clicked on the stone tablats of the hallway. She was wearing the most beautiful outfit anyone had ever seen in the whole world.

And Ulfric, because of his quick thinking and outfit changing, was wearing the _exact same thing_.

The girl beamed at him, her white teeth sparkling like one of those things for healthy teeth. "I see you know me well, Jarl Ulfric."

"Oh, please, Seralphaeyna, call me Ulfie," Ulfric smiled and bowed lowly before the living walking nuclear bomb of unstoppable beauty that was Seralphaeyna.

Seralphaeyna giggled and put a finger to her lip cutely. Her lips had black lipstick on to bring out her moribund pallor. "As you wish, Jarl Ulfie!"

"It's so good to see you again, my love," Ulfric smiled with true happiness at the sight of his one and only beloved. "Please, come inside."

"That's what I was gonna say," smirked Seralphaeyna as she stepped into Ulfric's deluxe suite accommodations. "It's pretty in here. You must be really rich! I like that."

"I've spent every night thinking about you," Ulfric said, the tone of pleading evident in his voice, as he knelt down on one knee in front of the beautiful unique girl. "Please, let me marry you. I want to be your husband. I'll be loyal and good and you can always count on me, please please please, let me marry you please?"

"Hunh," Seralphaeyna scoffed, turning her head aside coldly. "Not so fast. You have to earn my love. I have some things for you to do."

"Oh gods," the Jarl of Whiterun mewled, his lip trembling as tears coursed down his face, making the eyeliner run all over. "Where did I go wrong? What did I do? I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you, baby, please forgive me, don't walk away now!"

"Nope, too late, already made up my mind," Seralphaeyna smirked cruelly, as she turned her heel for the door. "If you wanted me, you shouldn't have been so nice."

"NOOOOOO!" Ulfric cried as Seralphaeyna walked back out.

The beautiful girl shut the door behind her, muffling Ulfric's noises of plight. As she walked back down the hallway, a smirk slowly appeared on her face.

She whispered to herself: "All according to plan."

**Sorry about taking so long with this chapter. I think for future reference you can just assume that when I'm putting up a chapter, I'm also wanting to apologize for it taking so long. Because it happens a lot. Anyway, stay tuned for more updates to The Unique Tale of Alduin's Curse! They'll probably happen eventually!**


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